My Beloved Grandfather~

Loving Memory

James David Anderson

February 26,1924 - September 12, 1977

WWII S1 US Navy

My grandfather

who I dearly miss-

A glimpse of my heart, for everyone to see,

Sentimental thoughts, Ikeep close to me.

The memory of you, honor and grace-

These fill my heartbroken space.

A place safe from fear,

When you held me close and sincere;

In your arms, love very clear.

Looking into kind eyes, and you'd hold me tight.

I never dreamed you would have to go,

This pain hurts grandpa no one knows.

Pap paw made everything right.

Weekend fishing, special times Saturday's pop-corn night.

Playtime and Laughter; everything was bright.

Swinging on that porch swing, the color of white,

Perfect everything- when you were in sight.

Many years have come and gone,

Memories of you live within me strong.

If only you could have lived to see,

One gift that God gave to me.

My son, Sheldon, so gentle and kind,

Sometimes, it brings tears to my eyes,

Your spirit, through him, defined.

A reminder of you all the time.

Memories, I will cherish forever inside.

by jd anderson

http://luvmy4x4@gmail.com/

--
Faery's Dream

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Painting a picture this canvas sheet unrefined,
As Leonardo Divinchi who left many secrets to find.
Look closely and analyze my words with your mind.
""Will you spare some of your time""?
My thoughts here on display,
Appreciating your words you choose to say.
Picking apart these things in my heart,
Life is hard but I still have spark.
Creating a place for memories to stay.
These nightmares I have, wont go away.
Opening my book for everyone to read,
As I paint this pathway from you to me.
Meek and kind my heart is true,
Maybe my words can help others too.
You will see my small self esteem,
Realizing there is more than what is seen.
Embracing those still trapt inside,
Their screams I hear every night.
They are a part this painted picture tonight.

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Faerys Dream Writing~: Butterfly

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I Need To Fire The Part-Time ~

I guess today I am just gonna vent~ hope none of you mind. Mondays don't typically bother me and today started just like any other Monday. Lately I have been struggling with some personal issues that are the least bit ~annoying the crap right out of me~.

Writing down your thoughts is a good theraputic way to express what is going on inside your noggin and get out, say it <<

It is like I have misplaced something and can't find it..(for those of you who do not understand what I am talking about).
NOoooooo wait, it is like that driver that knows that the street is going to merge into one lane...*they know this cause they drive down this street every day*....and races up to get in front of you, nearly clipping you to get over into your lane..(you know what I am talking about don't you)??..and then break checks ~you ~when they cut in in front of you....uggghhhhh... Now are we on the same page?? Well, I have a friend, this person I really shouldn't even consider a friend, because they are one of the most selfish people that I know... Not only do I have a ~friendship with this person we had living arrangements <
To go into the long drawn out details of why our living arrangements are not under the same roof anymore I will not disclose, but this person still considers us ~together as a relationship, yes, I know, but seriously they actually stated ~ TODAY~
""We are together, as a relationship"."..I love you."".
This is when my mind goes into overdrive. Why? Well, for one things I very seldom know where or who this certain someone is with nor do they ~ RARELY keep their word to me. *IE my phone rings
"Hey little-girl, whatch doin"?
"Cookin dinner, you"? I said.
"I am working on my truck"
(sounding aggitated, no less I actually was confused at why they even called me, but in reality this is normal behavior for this person I should be used to it by for some strange reason it still after 5 yrs bugggggs me...they always have >>>**to take hostilities and frustrations out on me, instead of ~who or what ever ~the REAL issue behind the mood is/was I am~rollin my eyes at this attitute and pulling my phone from my ear like WTF???)
Anyway, I replied
"Oh, wow, sounds like you are gonna be grouchy and busy then for a while huh"?.(laughin, breaking the attitude from them)
"No"They said. ""Haa haa"" (pause)"" I am just gonna work on this for a couple of hours and see how far I can get with it..I am not working on it all night.""
"So, then you comin over later?"I said, "Or are ya just gonna hang out at your place afterwards"?
"Yeah", they said."" But I will call you first...ok, later on I will call and let you know. ok""
"Sure, I said. "Just let me know ok"? "Ok ~little girl, see ya".


Our conversation ended and I fully intented to hear/seeing them.
Well, the call never came. This is a perfect example of how things have been forever..To make matters worse. When I do mention the lack of truth behind the words spoken.... ~the forgetfullness..It usually turns into an accusation of me being ~Bitchy, or Bitchin at them...or a defensive conversation no less, turning the whole thing around on me..**Like I was the one who did something wrong***go figure??(sighhhh)
I don't mean to sound so frivilous, but hey, SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND DO AS YOU SAY.......Why is that such a difficult task for some people??? There shouldn't be a second thought. When you care and ~respect someone/something it should be natural to check in, call just say hello or to share plans etc...Right?? I can not stand that fact that I am thought of so little with this person and to make it worse I let it get to me.... ..But when it becomes a chore or you have to be reminded to call the person to whom you supposedly ~love....and you don't..Something is definately wrong. I am treated as JUNK MAIL or spam..Something that is being thrown away. I feel as though I mean nothing to this person even though they tell me that they love and care for me...
I don't know about how any of you view trust or things that you build upon that form trust, but this, in my book, dimenishes any real trust. If those of you that are reading this are shaking your head/thinking she is being just a bit harsh just for this one isolated time...I have feelings that this person just will not let me go..Facing up to what they really want and I am not going to give them the easy out option... I am not going to be the one to end it. The commitment, <<> Lies, lack of communication and infidelities.... The Reason behind that statement I wanted them to prove how important/unimportant I was to them...so I moved..AndI gave this person the ~easy out. But we are still a couple and have a relationship according to them....They are gonna buck up, and do FOR ONCE tell the truth~ Face how the things that they do effect others around them.
I will do as I will in my current status life and when I have plans, I will not let this person effect how those plans are kept. (Even though, , they seem to know when I am on the verge of doing something that would completely break me free from them and manage to show that sweet kind side of them that I love, but rarely see).
I know there is no commitment on their end. I just want them to say to me instead of leading me to believe by the words that they say...that there is something more than just an occasional endearment. It seems to keep me attached to them like we are a couple...
It isn't enough for me..they know it...but yet nothing changes...5 yrs of me giving a commitment to a relationship with someone that pretended that I was important in their life( only because they could do what ever they wanted and I took care of them) I know they would deny this and say how much they do and still love me...but I don't see the words backing up the actions shown to me...Manipulation...is what they are about and it hurts that I have let them victimize me for so long.. taking advantage any way means to get exactly what they want..
Just so yo know that I did try and get them to open up the door to dating other people. I was shot down and they looked at me like I was crazy for even saying it and these words were said to me...
You don't need to date anyone else..You have me"..
I just looked at them in surprise because once again..I could not believe what my ears were hearing because the body language screams so much louder to me otherwise.

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